I love us
I met someone. and this time it is very different
it’s been a few days that I feel really anxious, I feel it in my belly and as a rock weighing over my chest
and I have no idea why
enchanting things
- the reflection of sunlight on the ocean
- feeling like you’re in a movie when you’re happy and having adventures
- seeing a beautiful stranger
- looking into someone’s eyes
- stargazing and talking about life
- the color palette of the early evening
- feeling like you’re in a dream with someone and everything feels perfect
dear brain,
could you do me a favour and let my infatuations last more than 3 days? I don’t know, maybe like a week or something?
thank you very much
I was having a passive aggressive/depressive episode then I hated myself and decided to snap out of it
I made a joke and it worked
I hate myself but I love myself
now I feel a little down but nothing crazy it’s ok
me @ myself: why are u like this?
I’m having a family dinner with some friends of theirs and I washed all the dishes and cleaned the whole kitchen
finally 10 mins of peace
all the progress I’ve made this year towards my peace of mind completely vanishes once I’m here.
I’m so unhappy here
I went to have dinner with my family, my sister, her boyfriend, my brother and his girlfriend + her parents.
I’ve never felt more misplaced, or more alone when with my family
my ex is in loving relationship and I’m happy for him, she’s truly lovely and honestly I even think she deserves better. it just makes me feel left behind. not because he moved on, but because after all this time I am single again and I feel like everyone else is moving on and leading their love life. and why am I so obsessed with love lately? I am an intelligent young woman and I have far more passions, friends and events making my life worth, and yet, I still obsess over love. maybe it is true that we can’t stop thinking about the one thing we don’t have, for the sole purpuse of being able to be obsessed about something. I need to calm down and be at peace with myself more
maybe it’s because this time I am truly alone. usually when I’m single I have fake relationships, friends with benefits, or something like that to get my mind off of being single. right now I’m alone. it’s not unpleasant, it’s just, new. it feels breezy, like I have so much space around me, I guess. I should treasure these moments, to be with myself, my family, my passions, my friends. like I say to all of my friends: girl, you really need to stop looking for them
I am in love
so so so much in love
as we all saw it coming: I am not in love. it’s been truly amazing to feel like I was tho. I guess I jump into things? I just give myself to people? I just go and don’t think about consequences. I want these feelings, but at the same time though I never feel like I let go completely, there is so much not even I know about myself and I have no words nor will to even begin talking about it with people. now I’m tired, I don’t want to keep looking, I don’t want to keep on trying and make them fit. I deserve the same love I am capable of, I want to be unconditionally in love, and only when I will be i want to be loved back. I know it’s a lot, it’s a lot to ask for, but I am very hopeful. it makes my heart race a little, it makes my throat dry and my stomach to sink when I think that I won’t be finding them. I really want to be in love again. tonight my dad said that I am going to marry last because I never have serious relationships. that is not true, and it hurt a little knowing that my family already perceives me like that. I don’t want to settle anymore. I want to make it work and work for this love I want to find, but I am tired of dating wrong people, so I’ll just wait, until I will find them
I am in love
so so so much in love
you are worth the love you have so easily given to other people